Developing Mental Strength, with Patrick Mahoney

Patrick Mahoney shares his journey through loss and chaos, focusing on mental resilience, longevity, and the importance of environment and community in shaping a fulfilling life. He illustrates how deliberate chaos and neuroplasticity can enhance mental strength and longevity.

Topics

• Aha moments around the pandemic
• Losing several siblings
• Research into longevity, defined as healthspan vs. lifespan
• “How do I add life to my years, rather than just years to my life?”
• A new life abroad
• Blue Zones: the significance of contributing to something more
• Preparing for future shocks

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Chaos and Aha Moments
02:04 Navigating Personal Loss and Resilience
05:03 Building Mental Strength and Flexibility
07:21 Choosing Chaos: A New Life Abroad
09:57 Aligning Values with Environment
12:57 The Science of Longevity and Community Engagement
15:42 Contributing Beyond Oneself
18:45 Preparing for Future Shocks
21:19 Reflections on Life Choices and Balance

Keywords
longevity, mental resilience, neuroplasticity, environment, community, chaos, life transformation, health span, adaptability, lifelong learning

Guest Contact Details:
Patrick can be contacted via email on patrickmm1@gmail.com 

Thanks to Jacopo Lazzaretti for the intro/outro music:  https://jacopolazzaretti.bandcamp.com/album/secret-love

For all contact details (including our Associates) and useful self-worth resources, see www.SelfWorthAcademy.com

Transcript

John Niland (00:00)

Welcome to Self-Worth in Times of Chaos. My guest today, Patrick Mahoney, is passionate about lifelong learning and longevity, and we'll talk more about that later in the episode. Patrick, welcome to the podcast.

Patrick Mahoney (00:15)

Thank you, John. Happy to be here.

John Niland (00:17)

Let's begin with the chaos shall we, as we usually do. ⁓ What was your aha moment and what led up to it?

Patrick Mahoney (00:26)

Thanks, John. You know, it's a really ⁓ interesting story. And I'm sure many of the people you've talked to, you know, bring out these moments of aha, this defining moment for me was, you know, I'd been in the consulting space just working like a dog six days a week. And my brother developed terminal cancer and ⁓ he needed my attention more than I needed to work. And so I literally bailed out of the consulting business to help my brother fulfill his end of life goals and objectives.

And it was soon thereafter, John, that when COVID hit, and for the first time in my life, not just professional life, ⁓ we were all stuck in a modality of which of, I think many of us sat back and said, what is this all about? And what happens next time? And then lo and behold, I had another sister die. And it really caused me to focus ⁓ in saying, what?

What does the next chapter, if this is going to happen, what are those unfulfilled things that are just, I've not yet completed, or how do I prepare myself for the future? So I went down a fairly long journey, as you said in the intro, I spent my entire career in the medical technology industry, lots of clinical data, blah, blah. So as I dove into a lot of the longevity ⁓ materials and clinical information,

I really then sat down and did a whole inventory of kind of rack and stack about where I felt my personal situation was, my personal health status, ⁓ and then where did I need to get to in the future state. as my family calls me the family lab rat, I jumped into a few human trials studying nutrition as a subject. I did a microbiome testing, genomic testing.

I was so deep into this, you know, that one of the particular studies I was involved in said my biologic age was 13 years lower than my chronologic age. But there was this one area that was missing and it was really about how do I fortify, excuse me, how do I fortify my mental strength and my mental durability? I certainly had, you know, I know how to lift weights, I know how to exercise and cardio, all that stuff, but I really hadn't functioned

really haven't developed a functional new set of abilities. As we know, many of us go through, I was very fortunate to have been through lots of resilience training courses and how do we prepare ourselves. But in the consulting world, we started looking at ⁓ foundation strength and how, as we all grew up, ⁓ foundations were, gee, if you really build this solid foundation, ⁓ that can help us withstand future shocks.

Yeah, see, go ahead.

John Niland (03:22)

me just jump into that for a sec, because it really amazes me that someone with your professional background, working in consulting, working internationally, working at quite senior level in all of that, still needed to develop mental strength. Really?

Patrick Mahoney (03:38)

Well, here's the interesting thing. Yes, and so while we had been through, I had been through lots of resilience training, team building, but it's different than just reading from a book. And so while you can read books, you can experience things in life. There's a really interesting thing, and maybe you've seen this stuff from Robert Colbert who

recently wrote, ⁓ he cherishes the things that he wished had never happened. And when he was being interviewed, they said, we don't know, what are you talking about? You cherish the things you wished had never happened. It turns out he lost ⁓ his father and his brother when he was, I believe 10 years old, went through horrible depression, a really dark space. And at the end of the day, what he in essence said is that I cherish the event

of my father and my brother and my best friend's death because it enabled me to have a deeper sense of understanding of who I am, how to be empathetic, how to be caring, how to relate to people in a way that had those events not occurred ⁓ that gave me a new set of skills. when I talk about mental acuity, mental development, it's...

It's a whole new level of taking your brain just as we think about strength training the muscles, strength training for your heart. This is strength training for the brain.

John Niland (05:13)

It sounds like doing hard things.

Patrick Mahoney (05:16)

Exactly. So in this one assessment, I realized the environment in which I was in, I was living in the States, ⁓ the environment was not going to change for me, John. That was pretty clear. I mean, you're talking about a big country. You can't expect the world to adapt to us. therefore, gee, what do we do in times of chaos? We learn to adapt. So.

In this process, I realized, wow, how do I really prepare myself to catapult my mental development even further than where is today? And I'm a pretty nimble guy. And a lot of this comes down to, as I said, building resilience and resilience stacking. So the framework under which your new life is on, instead of being this fixed platform,

It is very, very fluid and adjusts to the changes. And the more we build that platform to be flexible, the better prepared we are going forward.

John Niland (06:23)

So what would be an example of that?

Patrick Mahoney (06:26)

So one of the things I decided to do is given the fact I had taken a lot of care in tending to my inner self on the gut, the microbiome, cardiovascular physiology was to strengthen the brain. And really what I decided to do is in order to change my environment that's better suited for this new environment was to uproot, move myself to a new country, a new language.

a new culture, a new mindset. I was used to a very ultra modern country where things functioned pretty much as you would expect. To an environment of which when I landed, I couldn't even say the name of the town I moved to. I couldn't pronounce my street address. I couldn't get money out of the ATM machine. I've told you this story the first time I ordered a meal. It was a disaster. And that evening turned out to be quite a lot of fun as I met the owner of restaurant. So...

This, I set the stage for me to really push the envelope into an area which is called neuroplasticity. As we push our mind, as I said, this is beyond reading a book. This is really digging in deep and every day from, know, turning out, learning how to turn on the stove was a challenge. ⁓ Every day walking in my communities and new opportunity, I'm saying hello to somebody.

learning a new word, and that just is part of my repertoire on a daily basis.

John Niland (07:59)

This is probably where I should explain to anyone listening that one of the reasons I invited Patrick onto this podcast is that while a lot of people have had chaos happen to them, Patrick is an example of a man who consciously chose chaos. In other words, you had quite a comfortable lifestyle. You had your family, you had your ⁓ financial situation in, you know, pretty much taped down.

And here's a man who decides relatively later in life to uproot the lot and move to another country. What was the aha moment that prompted you to do that? Is it just about longevity or is there something else?

Patrick Mahoney (08:42)

No, it was really about what's left undone in this chapter of life. I've traveled, I spent my lifetime in airplanes and going to new countries. So all that stuff was fairly simple for me. But this idea that there's a whole new set of learning and life ahead of me, and frankly, I wanted to live in a place where the value set was much more aligned.

to where I saw my longevity model. Coming from the States, we lived in a fairly gun-ridden environment. And that's one of those things, John, gosh, I saw some friends and the impact of his wife being killed in a ⁓ mass shooting and saw the impact of the family. I just said, this is not, in order for me to set the model to move forward, I needed to be in an environment that was calm.

that was relaxed because that's how I want to live my life. So was really aligning my value set against in a framework such that I'm ideally suited for this new learning opportunity.

John Niland (09:57)

Staying with values for a moment, you mentioned the gun violence. ⁓ Where else ⁓ did you find the values disconnect with your country of origin?

Patrick Mahoney (10:09)

And well, that's a really interesting set of points. ⁓ You know, I'm a pretty simple guy. I grew up and learned, you know, understanding capitalism and, you know, built my whole career around success and, you know, pricing models, et cetera. And one of the things that I found valuable is when we step outside of our environment, we realize, boy, there's a whole bunch of way to solve solutions than the model in which we learn.

And you come, you go to a second tier, third tier world economy and you realize these people are, are so aligned from a value set on being kind and courteous, irrespective of economic status or wellbeing, moving to a country of which people make a heck of a lot less money than I made in my career. And they're happy, they're satisfied.

They're not yearning for something greater to happen. They're going through life, loving the life that they live today.

John Niland (11:15)

Now I'm guessing from everything you've said that you're saying today you have watched the Blue Zones documentary that there are parts of the world that you know that longevity is not an accident it's a product of different factors. What's your view on that?

Patrick Mahoney (11:31)

John, I'm glad you mentioned, you I know we've talked about that before. was not only in fact, I've not read the net. I've not watched the Netflix documentary, but I've read all the research. In fact, that was some of the some of the underpinnings of of what made me choose my environment. ⁓ Dan Buettner writes about, know, if you can't if you're not living in the right environment, you have to change the environment. So it's really

a lot of his writing that led me to say the environment's not going to change. So if I'm in control, it's up to me to define how that environment is going to be. And a lot of the stuff that Dan Buettner writes about in The Blue Zone is in fact living a simple life. You don't have to go to the gym every day. You just need to be physically active. You need to be engaged in your community.

You need to have a sense of faith. Now, let me be, I want to be clear what that means to me. A sense of faith does not necessarily mean I need to go to church in order to demonstrate my faith and or beliefs in mankind. ⁓ He also writes about this community engagement. And what does that mean? It means we are all connected as a community. And as you know,

as since I left my former life and built this new life, I now have a whole new set of friends from all over the world. I now volunteer. Now, that doesn't sound that unusual. Why volunteer? What is it about volunteering that adds, and what associations does that have to longevity? So when you dive into the research about ⁓

the aspect of volunteering, giving back to something bigger than self. You you really begin to activate these three hormones, they're dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. I don't want to get into, and again, I'm not a physician, I'm not a scientist. When we begin to activate these neurohormonal chemicals in our brain, it actually begins to add years to our life.

And so that depends on what research you read. It's kind of fuzzy stuff. It's really hard to measure. But the evidence seems to say it may add five to eight years of our life. Now, let me talk also about longevity. I am not one, and you and I have had this conversation before. When I think of longevity, I am not trying to live to 105. My framework under which I refer to longevity

is more health span. So how am I adding life to my years versus years to my life? And that's a lot about what Dan Buettner writes as well. It's really, again, making the years remaining we have left to be rich and full.

John Niland (14:45)

I have not heard that framing before. So you've described the distinction between health span and lifespan. How do I add life to my years instead of years to my life? Brilliant. ⁓ hopefully we'll be using this for a clip. Let's come back to you. ⁓ You've talked about the importance of contributing to something beyond yourself. What has that done for you personally?

Patrick Mahoney (15:13)

Oh boy, that's, know, it again, when I, when I mapped out all the things I was doing well and the areas of deficiency was this really mental fortitude, it, it just, who'd I ever thought that I'd end up walking down the hill, 11 minutes to the train on my day to volunteering. And what that brings on each of these days now, I practice gratitude. I am grateful to be able

to help people ⁓ just do their life. As you know, I'm involved in a pet shelter. I love the animals, don't get me wrong, but so that's one aspect of it. Number two is we engage in projects helping the work environment for the employees to make their lives easier. Nobody is investing in them and here come a bunch of

of immigrants, expats, that are in essence building a shelter so they can stay dry when they're doing their work. Now, and when you see this emotion and their expression of their thank you to me, so again, I'm giving to them, they're giving two-fold, five-fold benefit to me for the little effort I put forward.

John Niland (16:43)

You're very widely read and keep an eye on current affairs to a degree of detail that many of us would struggle to match. What's your take on the current chaos that we see around the world and how it's going to affect individuals in the years ahead?

Patrick Mahoney (17:03)

You know, it's a really, ⁓ was writing about this and trying to sit back and put this in context of where we are. I think you and I talked about when our parents grew up, they may have gone through one career change, two career change, three career change. You and I have may been through five. When we look at the current generation, it is,

I don't know that there's any breaks in the level of shock. I say shock if they're not prepared. It is really, I think, quite challenging. Now we're amplified by current political events in the world, which frankly, as I unplug from the news and go help at the shelter, I'm grateful because that gives me something else to focus on in world affairs.

But as I begin to kind of look at the current state of affairs relative to technology and innovation and disconnect people becoming disconnected, people not knowing how to socially engage, I have learned, well, sorry, I don't want to get into me. ⁓ I think we have got to continue to reach into our communities to help them to build examples of how they can change.

without withstanding shock. I fear and I hope it doesn't happen, but I think we need to plan for the environment of which so many people, including us, have defined who we are by the work in which we perform. And men, think, are particularly vulnerable. When you strip that identity away, women, think, are far better.

thinking living holistically in a multi-dimensional framework that, you know, guys, we're simple. We just know we've had to work our entire life and we deal with those bumps in the road. So I really worry about the shock that is going to come to many, many cultures around the world. And I think by leaning into our communities, having discussions with people, asking questions,

What are they doing? What do they think about things? So we drive a model by example to ask them, gee, what do you think? So we get them thinking about these changes. I have another project I'm working on as you and I discussed, but that's for future discussions.

John Niland (19:37)

What are the core capacities or the core aspects of mental fortitude, perhaps to use your language, that people need to develop in order to withstand these shocks?

Patrick Mahoney (19:52)

Well, we've talked a little bit about, let's talk about resilience. And I've always defined resilience as the ability to withstand shock without suffering irreparable damage. And while we, and you know, it's interesting, and you go back in history and you look at the history of psychoanalysis, why do we keep digging up the past in order to understand where we are today? So again, getting back at, we need to learn to cherish

and leverage the hardships we may have been through. I've lost both my parents, I'm the youngest of nine kids, there's three of us surviving. And a friend of mine once said, how can you stay so positive? My goodness, you've been through all these changes, death in your family, divorce, career change. And I said, I'm the luckiest guy to be alive. So I think it's that ability to understand the past, the

past does not set the framework going forward, but use that as strength, as how we can in fact endure resilience. We need to also, again, learn how to use an old skiing term, keep our heads down, our knees bent, because the world is going to continue to have more shocks coming at us than the rate in which we are typically prepared for that. ⁓

And again, by building this new set of skills, a new language, we're causing this whole set of neuroplasticity, the old expression, neurons that fire together, wire together. So the more we continue to build out this new set of skill sets, I think, in fact, help us. I'm actually reading a new book and the author suggests it's a different than resilience.

and it's called anti-fragility, and it's things that gain from disorder. ⁓ as we begin to think about our new world, and that I think disorder is in fact a new order, right? And I really think all we can do is continue to advocate, promote, and doing the things you're doing on this podcast.

John Niland (22:13)

why this podcast exists. Final question, if you could send a message back to yourself 10, 20 years ago, when you were doing the six day weeks, when you were traveling the world, when you had lots of responsibility and medical technology, et cetera, if you could just transmit one little message in a bottle back 20 years to yourself, what would it be?

Patrick Mahoney (22:41)

Boy, that's a really good question. ⁓ know, John, I really can't say I would change a lot other than I was never, honestly, I was really terrible at work-life balance. ⁓ And when I had proposed to my kids about moving out of the country, ⁓ they said, gee, dad, fantastic. It's about time you had fun. So.

I think what I would have told myself back then is stop being so singular focused on career and family and focus on these other, these soft skills, these, ⁓ you know, I would have developed a wider skill set sooner than later. I'm grateful, don't misunderstand me. I am grateful for the opportunity that I created for myself.

I wished I would have done it sooner.

John Niland (23:42)

Great insight to end on. Patrick, thanks for joining me today.

Patrick Mahoney (23:47)

My pleasure, my pleasure.